A New Life?
by S.Horne
Summary: Steve and Tony are moving in together but Steve is reluctant to let go of his past. Established Stony


**A new life?**

**Disclaimer: MARVEL owns all characters/franchise**

* * *

Tony Stark hauled a large, brown cardboard box into the living room of Steve's area of the AVENGERS Tower and dropped it none too graciously on the floor, panting heavily.

"Careful of those!" Steve called from another room.

"How many more of these boxes are there babe? You're killing me here."

"Sorry sweetheart" replied Steve, walking in behind Tony and dropping a kiss on the top of his head, "I am packing up at least 5 years of my life here." The whole room had near enough been stripped bare, leaving only the basic furniture – which by STARK standards was certainly not basic! Boxes littered the living room floor, each one branded with a black marker pen instruction as to which room it would be deposited into in their new home -Tony's home.

"What's even in all these?" Tony muttered, reaching for one of the boxes as Steve left the room to grab another. Tony tugged off the tape keeping the box shut and pulled out numerous items from Steve's life before the ice; diner receipts, cinema stubs and tickets to dances. There were notes dotted here and there, along with a few odd pictures of Steve and other people that Tony assumed were his lover's younger-self's friends. One picture stood out from the others, a worn photo of Steve with his arms around a slightly smaller lad, both smiling at the camera. Tony shifted through the numerous photographs and found more featuring the same guy. As Tony took in the memories, he tensed and anger began to take over his features. Steve returned to the living room and carefully placed his box on the floor as he took in Tony's tense posture.

"Sweetheart, what's the matter?" Steve asked gently, moving to stand behind his lover, softly stroking his fingers along Tony's neck.

Tony answered him without turning around, "why do you have so much of this stuff still? Isn't most of this just rubbish?" He picked up a few receipts as he spoke, some dating back 80 years, others with print that had faded so badly that the name of the diner wasn't even visible.

Steve saw the photographs of the people that he'd left behind and responded: "It's not rubbish, it makes up my life. Some of us didn't have everything you know, we had small days out, times I'd like to remember" Steve tailed off quietly, afraid he had crossed a line – bringing up Tony's childhood with Howard was something that you just didn't do, no matter who you were.

Tony has risen whilst Steve was replying to his question and had moved to the opposite side of the room, ripping open another box. In that one he found photos and ornaments, clearly from Steve's childhood. Tony began to pull yet another box, unveiling more of Steve's younger life – school books and letters. The black-haired man then moved from box to box all around the room, pulling open each one and emptying their contents onto the floor.

"Tony, darling, I don't think you understand packing," Steve laughing, trying to lighten the situation, confused as to why Tony was acting so strangely. Inside, the billionaire saw more and more of Steve's earlier life, along with a few gifts that Tony had bought for him when he was sent on a business trip or mission without Steve – usually joke presents, such as the most hideous statues in the local market of whichever city he wound up in.

"I need those things to stay in the boxes if I'm going to move them into your apartment!"

"Are you going to move them Steve? Really?"

"I don't understand, what are you talking about? Of _course_ I'm moving them; I'm moving them all in with you!"

"Then why are you keeping all of this? You don't need it! Where the hell is it all going to go? I know that I have a lot of space, but do you want a filing cabinet for all the bits of receipt that you can't even read anymore? Or perhaps a glass display case for the small pieces of junk from a fair? – toys that don't have eyes for example!" Tony threw up a small, stuffed yellow bear, a bigger pink octopus and a blue-green tortoise, all of which had rips where the stuffing was sticking out and had definitely seen better days. "This is just rubbish! Utter rubbish!"

"Tony, stop it! This is my life!"

"No, Steve! This **was** your life, a life that you can't even _remember_. But more importantly, a life that I _don't know about._ Don't you the least bit find it strange that I'm seeing more of your life in these hundred cardboard boxes than you've told me in the past however long that I've known you? Because I sure as hell do!

I get that you had a life before me, a life from a whole different era and I get that you need memories from that time, but this? Receipts from diners that aren't even open anymore, and cinema tickets from visits with people that you can't even remember?" Tony's voice rose in pitch as he became angrier with each word, his insecurities seeping into his speech.

"Tony, I…"

"No Steve, this is too much." Tony's voice wavered and Steve realised that Tony was about to pull away as he always did when things became rough; he'd pull away from the room but more importantly away from Steve. Tony never showed much emotion, but when he spoke again his voice broke on his last word; "you're trying to hold on to the past, you're too reluctant to let it go."

That was not the reaction that Steve was expecting, he'd expected Tony's usual angry state – swearing and throwing. This was a lot calmer and subdued but he jumped at the chance to explain himself, upset by the depth of Tony's feelings about this.

"Yes!" Steve cried, startling Tony, whose head shot up to stare at him. Steve looked Tony straight in the eye and held his gaze for a minute, but soon had to look away as his lover's stare became too emotional.

"Yes, I am scared. Scared that one day I'll need this stuff again." Steve's voice became quieter, but no less powerful. "I'm scared that one day I'll have to rebuild my life again.

I'm scared that you'll realise that I'm too old-fashioned for you; I know that you tease me for getting confused about your work, but one day it'll annoy you that I don't understand and you'll drop me. You don't think I worry about you returning to your playboy ways, even after these 2 years together?"

"I don't know Steve – I don't know because we don't talk about this stuff!" Tony yelled, running his hands through his already messy hair.

"No, we don't! Because you hate commitment and anything to do with emotions!" His blonde lover replied, his own anger taking over his insecurity and raising his voice.

"If I hated commitment, why would I have asked you to move in with me?" Tony threw his hands into the air.

"Because it looks good for your image; bagging 'America's hero'." As soon as he said it Steve stopped. He looked at Tony, an apology clearly written all over his face. Steve took a step towards Tony but his lover held his hands up and took a step backwards.

Tony's eyes now shone with tears and his voice was barely there when he hesitantly spoke, his words like nothing that Steve had ever heard before. "Don't you trust me with this Stevie? Don't you love me enough?"

'America's hero' was shocked; Tony had never shown so much emotion during their relationship before. The only time that he had ever cried openly was when Steve was badly injured during a mission when a rouge missile had blown up the Helicarrier and left Captain America in a coma for nearly 4 weeks.

"Oh darling, come here" Steve said softly, gathering the billionaire into his arms. Cradled against the Captain's chest, Tony struggled against his hold for a moment but Steve didn't relent and held him fast. "I do want to make a new life with you, of course I do. I just don't want to wake up one morning alone and realise that I have nothing left of myself. I haven't done anything like this before."

"And you think I have?" Tony subtly wiped his eyes before pulling back slightly to look at his lover. "Steve, baby, I have never even made it past the 1 month stage in a relationship before, never mind the 1 year stage! I love you and I don't want to ruin this relationship, I want you forever. You don't have to worry about me returning to my old self, you have made me such a better person and I like how I am now and I..."

The super-soldier cut off Tony's rambling with a gentle kiss to his lips, "I like how you are now too, angel." Tony melted at the pet name, the tension falling from his shoulders and his smile brightening.

"I just worry, I don't know what I would do if this fell apart. You're my world now, Tony, and I don't think I would know how to patch myself up again; I thought it was hard after the ice, but you and this and us and the guys…"

Tony pressed his own kiss to his lover's mouth, his arms tightening around the blonde's waist. "I'm so sorry for freaking out and for getting so angry and then jumping to conclusions, I just love you too much and I worried that you didn't want me or that you wanted to stay in the past…"

Another kiss stopped the once-playboy's words once more, "I love you, Tony. I miss my past, of course I do, but you're right; I do need to de-clutter my apartment – I have you and our memories to cherish. Anything else is secondary to that."

Tony seemed to return to normal once more with his cheeky reply and accompanying wink; "I'm always right".

Steve laughed as he pulled Tony in for a deep and promising kiss.


End file.
